What is something that people are surprised to find out about you? I am a thirteen-year-old boy trapped in the body of an eleven-year-old boy.

If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, who'd be coming? Mark Twain, Tim Gunn, Christopher Walken, and Snoop Dogg. I'm sure they'd get along swimmingly.

Where are your local haunts? Grey Gallery, Knee High, the Bottleneck, Sun Liquor, Quinn's, the occasional Oddfellows. 12th & Olive Wine Company and Argento. Deluxe and the Satellite. Northwest Film Forum and SIFF Cinema. Neumo's, the Croc, and Chop Suey. TRUST. Any restaurant that knows how to do corkage. The internets. Besides that, everyone who pretended to like me is gone: Bad Juju, the Twilight, Pony, Crave, Lower Level.

What kind of person are you attracted to? Physically: tall, dark, and handsome---it's a cliche, but it's true. I also tend to be attracted to men with exaggerated features (big nose, big lips, big eyes, big hands). In terms of personality: intelligent, funny, and well-informed. EQ as well as IQ, with self-awareness and introspection. A sense of frugality but a willingness to splurge without being wasteful. Guys who say what they mean and mean what they say. Someone who doesn't think his tats are profound or his dogs are children. People with good taste in movies, music, TV, books, magazines, blogs, etc. No meatheads, douchebags, tools, idiots, beardos, or pussies, please; no smokers, picky eaters, self-identified hikers neither.

How far will you travel to meet the right partner? To the ends of the earth, as long as it doesn't involve going to the Eastside.

What's something you want to do but haven't? Travel more. All the usual suspects, but also the Seychelles, Dubai, the Maldives, Cuba, and Bhutan. Just got back from Thailand!

My radio dial is usually tuned to: KEXP and This American Life, natch.

Who’s someone you’d like to be trapped in a confined space with? Definitely not the brunette from the Progressive ads. Bitch annoying.

If I could change one thing about Seattle, it would be: There's so much to change, but I think I can fix everything by altering the mindset of both citizens and politicians, so that they stop pretending Seattle's still a small town and embrace that now it's a city---which means less focus on the short term and the individual and more focus on the big picture and the community as a whole. The longer I live here, the more I'm frustrated by this aspect of Seattle, meaning I'm open to eventually going elsewhere.

What bands do you always find yourself talking shit about? John Mayer, Ben Gibbard, Norah Jones, The Hold Steady, Led Zeppelin. Besides bands, I also talk shit about: Lance Armstrong, Michael Phelps, Persians, the Greatest Generation.

One movie everyone should see is: Stander is the film I always end up recommending to strangers. It's criminally overlooked, and it works as a historical drama, a fiercely political biopic, a buddy flick, a heist film, and a kitschy 70s piece, all in one. You can't go wrong.

If I could only eat one type of food for the rest of my life, it would be: Sushi in general, hamachi in particular, mercury poisoning be damned. Heavy on the wasabi, 'cause it hurts so good.

I consider myself an open-minded person, but my deal breakers are an ugly-ass "ironic" mullet or mustache and yellow fever.

Something I learned from the last person I dated is you can't fit a square peg into a round hole.

Design your ideal mate: the brain of Stephen Colbert and the body of Don Draper. But I'd settle for Paul Rudd or a young Marlon Brando.

My idea of a great date is drinks, witty conversation, and a spark.

When stuck in gridlock I check my email.

My guiltiest pleasure is Law and Order of any variety.

One night stands can be more fun in theory than in practice.

A fault my friends tease me about is my sometimes ridiculous levels of Midwestern practicality.

The quickest way to my heart is generosity, attentiveness, and genuine compliments. The quickest way to my bed is excellent kissing technique(s) and dirty talk. And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked over hard with cheese in sandwich form.

Great sex calls for lots of verbal and non-verbal communication, and lots of foreplay.

The last show I saw was Regina Spektor, Dirty Projectors, Ghostland Observatory, Fanfarlo.

It's Sunday morning at 10 a.m. If I'm not still sleeping, I'm either brunching or watching the roundtables.

Talk about irony: I am a total sweetheart yet kinda cunty.

One sport I will never get is hockey/soccer (same difference).

For delicious results, add one part Maker's and mix it with one part ginger.

When I was a kid, I actually owned a Pogo Ball.

Starbucks or Victrola

White meat or Dark Meat

Electric or Acoustic

Early Bird or Night Owl

Princess Leia or Princess Amidala

Surf or Snow

Black or Cream and Sugar

Library Card or Amazon

New York or L.A.

Beatles or Stones

Kittens or Puppies

Trusty Scarf or Testy Poncho

Thongs or Boy Briefs

Casket or Cremation

Scarecrow or Hollywood

Butch or Femme

Talk or Action

Murphy's Law or Karma