When writing these essays, I find myself overcompensating towards “not sounding like everyone else,” but that might be driving me away from what I’m trying to get across. I don’t want to make you read yet another cardboard description of the fun-loving, easy-going girl who’s really into yoga and self-improvement, but subjecting you to my latest ponderings on peak oil and America’s antiquated expectations of marriage doesn’t seem quite right either. How to reveal the perfect level of non-surface details without going too far into crazy head ramblings that might scare you off.

Here’s what I like best about me, and some of my friends have confirmed this:

I’m funny. Not all the time, but once I get comfortable and find you open to goofy stories and snide remarks, they will be plentiful.

I listen and do my best to understand what you’re saying and why you’re saying it. Again, not all the time. Like most girls and people with mild OCD, sometimes I’m distracted by shoes or my ever hovering to-do list. But, in general, I’m with ya. I don’t see this as a selfless trait. My best relationships, both friendly and romantic, have been with people I can have truly in-depth conversations with. It’s a rare and tremendously fulfilling thing to actively listen and base responses on what the other person just said, rather than waiting for your turn to talk.

I’m trying to live my life with purpose. This is always a work in progress, and involves trying to find time to read smart books, practice my guitar, get more involved in energy sustainability, figure out career goals, etc. But I’ve made a lot of progress of the past few years. I moved back to the city. Became a deeply appreciative parent, rather than a stressed out and unbalanced. Went to grad school and got my masters. Became more self-reflective.

I’m hoping that, if you’re not bored to tears and moving on to the next profile, some of this strikes a chord. It’s a brief glimpse of who I am. I feel a little obligated to throw in a few surface details

• I’m outdoorsy, but not super athletic. I enjoy walking around Green Lake, hiking, and snow shoeing. If you’re really into an activity that doesn’t take a tremendous amount of skill or coordination, you can probably talk me into trying it out.
• I have an 8-year-old daughter who lives with me 50% of the time. Being her parent is definitely a part of my identity, but certainly not all of it. I can have entire adult conversations without bringing her up. I’ve found dating fairly easy to schedule on my non-custody days.
• After attempting to live the “American dream” in the burbs for four years, I found that I am a city girl through and through. The car culture and lack of community in the burbs is not something I can happily live with. City life is important to my happiness. I’m hoping you feel the same.
• I do enjoy a weekly yoga class. Not super original or interesting, but I’m convinced that it will help me live longer and healthier.

What I’m looking for:

You are also a funny smarty pants who enjoys long, in-depth conversations over coffee or cocktails. You’ve got a healthy self-esteem, but can still crack a self-deprecating joke once in a while. You like going out for dinner and a show or staying home for risky collaborations in the kitchen. You’ve processed your past relationships and grown from what you learned. You can communicate about your feelings, and aren’t afraid to call me on my bullshit (I promise to call you on yours). You understand that relationships need maintenance after the honeymoon phase. You’re down with PDA.
Yeah, I know I’m asking for a lot. But, if we are of similar minds, perhaps you won’t find this wish list unreasonable. Maybe it even resembles your own.