Last active: within 3 weeks
||In an open relationship
||Friends, Friends with benefits, Casual Dating, Long-term Relationship, Open Relationship
||Average, Height / Weight proportionate
||They change, Gray / green
Woman for Dating
Man or Woman or Transsexual (male to female) or Transsexual (female to male) for Friendship
||Trade school graduate
||Patchwork spiritualist with witchy leanings
||Lower Queen Anne / Fremont
||Nursing assistant / caregiver
||Not Sure, Possibly, but my genes are pretty fucked up, so maybe after some testing....
||Depends on which ones, Not often, and if it goes up the nose, in a vein, or you have to cook it, l'm not interested.
|I get around town via: Public Transportation, Walk
|My dietary preferences are: Not picky
|I spend my free time: Reading, Sex, Creating, Drinking, Watching movies, Dining out, Sleeping, Communing with nature, Dancing, art
|Funniest Thing: A barking cat. And a guy with no game who thinks he's the hottest thing since Abba.
Smartass seeks same
Note: l am an unpaid member for the moment, so please email me to get in touch. Thanks!
Warning: this bio is of epic length. There's a reason for this. lf you make it all the way through, you will have effectively passed the litmus test. Congratulations!
l'm Ali. Your general freak, too old to be a kid, too young to be a marm. l joke that l'm an adolescent boy trapped in a middle-aged woman's body.
l'm a tomboy but l've discovered a girly/womanly streak in me you might be lucky enough to see in action.
l grew up overseas (Malaysia, Australia, Belgium and Kenya - humanitarian parents). Ask me about it sometime; it's a good story. So is the one behind the tramp stamp in my main photo, which was a temporary tattoo.
l'm thinking about moving to Thailand in the next couple of years and caring for rich old retired expats. l did some research and l could actually do just that. That sounds just about fucking perfect to me.
lf l could go barefoot all the time, l would. Same with going nekkid.
l admit to being poor, but l'm working on it. This is in part because people who take care of seniors are apparently not worth more than what l get paid. But this is how l know l love my job, though l may need to purchase a car at some point so l'll have a place to live when l'm a senior myself. l don't expect people to pay my way, and l don't make plans l can't afford. l'm always cool with a cheap and easy trip to the park or beach, or a quiet night with a movie and good company. l like full disclosure, and don't want anyone to feel like they have to pay for me. For extra cash, l work part-time out of a friend's sign shop, doing woodworking projects and signs, and l'm helping a friend renovate his home. l make do, l'm fed and sheltered, and l grew up kinda poor anyway, so l'm cool with that.
l love spiders, snakes, mice, and domestic rats. Street rats are mean, and they're even more unpleasant when they've been chewed up, regurgitated, and left directly in my front walkway by the cat. l'm not squeamish about anything other than still-warm dead rat guts on my doorstep.
l have a pretty decent hardware drawer, and can fix basic plumbing and appliance issues, most of which seem to be intuitive. l'm indifferent about sports. Superbowl is just an excuse to get together and throw popcorn around. But l kickass at pool, and l like watching tennis, as l used to play. l dig soccer too, but don't ask me to love anyone other than the Sounders right now.
l occasionally cry at movies (not a huge fan of the girly ones, so breathe easy), and l hate it. Hell, l cry every time l watch Field of Dreams, and for a movie that isn't even girly AND about baseball, go figure.
l used to skate. Now l'm too old and l have a bum knee from dancing all my life. l'm a beer gal, but it's not a stretch for me to go for the fru-fru drinks. l'm willing to wear heels, as long as wherever we're going l don't have to stand for any length of time. l do love to dress up in my little punkrock outfits with my my platform moonboots and go riot grrrl. This is easier to do now that l'm getting back to my original size; l was 25 pounds heavier not too very long ago, but l was also rocking a torn meniscus and ACL (the latter of which still needs fixin), unable to dance, and drinking more then, none of which helped my figure nor my mental health. l'm in much better shape now.
l'm independent, and am comfortable being single, but l'm getting bored with my own company and need a little romance and inspiration. l really relish my social life and lovers, so l've found a method of enjoying the time when l'm not socializing - riding the bus, working, waiting for a doctor's appointment - to be with my thoughts. On occasion, though, l will retreat into a brief hermit mode, and regroup.
l belch regularly, and only rein it in when l'm at work or with family - mine, my friends', or my lovers' - and pretty much only then. l will say 'excuse me' as a habit, but most know it's just what l do. l cuss like a sailor, and only rein it in for the same reasons mentioned above. l'm pretty irreverent as a whole. Unfortunately, l sneeze like a girl, with a high-pitched "chu!" at the end that l can't seem to get rid of. l sound like a freight train when l sleep, and l drool; l am not a graceful sleeper. l often wish l looked like an angel when l slept - serene, breathing deeply but quietly, looking beautiful. Not this life. l hog the covers, l sprawl, and l talk in my sleep. Occasionally, limbs flail. Take cover.
l clean well, but l'm not neat. l'm a total packrat -though definitely not a hoarder- and it's time for some spring cleaning in my home. There's too much clutter, but l always rationalize by doing my best to simply keep it out of my path.
l hang out with chicks who aren't like most chicks, although one of my best friends is as girly as they come. l'm sardonic and will often poke fun at people (another litmus test), so don't take me too seriously.
l never wear pink. lf l ever do, l'll take a picture.
l am a brave dame. Sometimes.
What is something that people are surprised to find out about you? That l have a 12-year-old brother. And that l helped make the signs for over half the businesses in Fremont. And that l consider myself a Kenyan.
If you could have a dinner party and invite any 4 people, dead or alive, who'd be coming? Morgan Freeman, Anne Frank, Bill Hicks, and Hunter S. Thompson.
Where do you like to hang out? The Dexter and Hayes, Woodsky's, Golden Gardens, Norm's, Roxy's, The Backdoor, The Ballroom (but only for happy hour, never weekend nights), Fremont Coffee, Nectar, The Old Pequliar, and the George and Dragon.
What kind of person are you attracted to? Let's first go with what l'm *not* attracted to, as what l'm attracted to has broadened and matured quite a bit over the years.
No neurotic, pessimistic, clingy, jealous, or whiny. No neat freaks (clean or messy is fine, just not someone who's going to get on my ass for having a few things flung around and some dirty dishes in the sink).
Someone with a sense of humor who can laugh at themselves is good. Who knows how to actually communicate versus argue. Who is solid and confident in who they are, and who is mature enough to handle an open relationship without thinking l'm just there to provide them their first threesome; l'm not saying you won't be lucky enough to have one, but l'm gender-blind, so it's important to me to be able to be with/love both genders without having to stifle an important part of myself in order to be with one or the other. You should be willing to share should the situation arise, and in turn, l will make sure you get the time and attention you need, as well as allow you the same opportunity should you desire it.
l prefer naughty *and* nice. l'm both.
lf you're allergic to cats, we may have a problem.
(l spent ALL my time at an ex's house for this reason, and it became challenging.)
l really enjoy silly and sarcastic banter, and you don't have to be a Mensa contender, but intelligence is sexy. Artists and dancers are always welcome, but if you aren't either, l'm sure we'll bond on other levels. Confidence is a must, but not cocky; don't make me knock you down a peg every ten minutes, and if your ego is out of control, l will (that means you, 'l have the face of a rock star' guy.). Confidence and modesty can co-exist quite well together.
Honesty is a must. l don't play games; neither should you. Be willing to take responsibility for yourself, as l will do the same. Transference is a bad psych 101 red flag.
Also, please don't eat like you were born in a barn. l have very few little idiosyncrasies like that, but chewing with your mouth open and smacking your food is one of those traditional things l learned not to do at the dinner table as a child.
Finally, l'm attracted to someone who doesn't take an enthusiastic email response when we talk as some sort of desperation; l just find you interesting and identify with you - but l wouldn't ask you not to be crazy if l was nuts myself, yo.
What's something you want to do but haven't? Climb the Eiffel Tower. l've been to Paris, but l was a whiny kid then and refused to do it. l regret this now.
Who’s someone you’d like to be trapped in a confined space with? Hannah Hart (hartoandco.com/my-drunk-kitchen/). Or Jeff Bridges.
My radio dial is usually tuned to: Pandora, KEXP or NPR.
If I could change one thing about Seattle, it would be: The passive aggressiveness. Speak up if you have something to say, and don't be a dick about it. This is called maturity, Seattle. Learn it.
Also, a real live summer would be nice.
One book everyone should read is: Kite Runner, The Shawshank Redemption, The Color Purple.
Ever have a Jerry Springer moment minus the cameras? Yes, but in my defense, l was 19. Egg fight. Suffice it to say, l was queen of dodgeball back in the day, so l escaped unscathed.
What bands do you always find yourself talking shit about? Creed. l mean, who doesn't?
Who would you like to play you in the movie of your life? Who would probably get the part instead? Mira Sorvino, but the budget won't be that big since nobody cares about my life, so it'll probably end up being that chick from Strangers with Candy.
One movie everyone should see is: Baraka.
If I could only eat one type of food for the rest of my life, it would be: Thai.
I consider myself an open-minded person, but my deal breakers are clinginess and jealousy. Why don't l get three of these? Last are crazy people and guilt trips.
Something I learned from the last person I dated is don't date someone you aren't compatible with, but if you had fun together and made each other laugh, you can still end up with a best friend.
If I could take back one thing I said this week it would be "Sure, l'll take a shot."
I want to make a t-shirt that says "lnk. Not just for hookers and sailors anymore."
Design your ideal mate: the brain of Scott Peck and the body of Edward Norton. But l'm not overly picky, as long as ya got some smarts.
My idea of a great date is Archie McPhee's and the beach.
Something I said I'd never do but did anyway was join Facebook.
My picture(s) reveal that I am cute, playful, and occasionally, a zombie.
The first section I turn to in the Stranger is Control Tower.
My guiltiest pleasure is Buffy. l'm a Whedon fan, and we didn't get enough of Firefly, so....Buffy.
When stuck in gridlock I pick my nose.
The last show I saw was Wilfred.
Great sex calls for lots of healthy reciprocation, a little hair pulling, a little biting, and lots of laughter.
The quickest way to my heart is not being a dick. Or cooking, if all else fails. The quickest way to my bed is being funny. And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked over-medium. With sex.
One night stands can be FUN.
I know they say "Everybody loves Raymond ", but I never have.
A fault my friends tease me about is that l'm so outspoken.
It's Sunday morning at 10 a.m. If I'm not still sleeping, I'm having brunch with my peeps.
Talk about irony: I am fiery yet a pacifist.
One sport I will never get is lacrosse.
The last time I made an ass out of myself, I don't remember it. l mean, l'm sure l made an ass of myself, l just don't remember it. l'm a happy-go-lucky kinda gal.
When I die, I believe I will go to hell. All the way to hell.
Michael Jackson was a major dance influence.
For delicious results, add one part my body and mix it with one part my brain.
When I was a kid, I actually owned a turtle. l think l killed it. l keep praying he was just old.
PBR or Red Hook
White meat or Dark Meat
Electric or Acoustic
Early Bird or Night Owl
Princess Leia or Princess Amidala
Surf or Snow
Black or Cream and Sugar
Ballard or West Seattle
True Blood or Twilight
Jack White or Jack Black
Pinball or Pool
Elliot Bay or Amazon
Thongs or Boy Briefs
Casket or Cremation
Bring it On or Stomp The Yard
Crunchy or Smooth
Talk or Action